Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize