OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
