Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
