There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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