Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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