You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
