Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
