Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
