You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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