it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
