this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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