I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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