Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
