Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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