I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
