Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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