umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
