can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
