is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
