is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
