You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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