I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
