a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
