DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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