dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
