There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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