Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Don't make out with my wife yet
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
