he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
