Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
