remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think your dad took our porno
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize