The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
