We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
