Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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