garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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