Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We're too hungover to prance.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
