You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
