I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
