I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
