Plan B is the new Plan A
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
