Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
