My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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