I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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