hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We had to coat check the pizza.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Your penis caused this!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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