bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
