She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
