Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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