if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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