im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
