Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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