So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she told me i tasted like america
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
