Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
