Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
