I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize